Anticipating surgery

Another blogger going through it who says it how it is — and the following is my comment to her:

“Hope you are recovering from surgery. I had a right-sided mastectomy in August and I do recognise a lot of your feelings of loss and grief. And your feelings about prostheses being fake (let alone reconstructions). Though I have started wearing one some of the time.

I am fully recovered from surgery and am very well physically, but still get sad jolts re my loss, though I’ve never been into make-up and beauty regimes and high fashion. I think it takes a long time —

All the very best. It feels and is lonely, but it helps me somehow to read of your experience so plainly put.”


I’ve been struggling with how to write this post for some time, knowing that it was inevitably coming. On the one hand, this feels so incredibly personal to me, and I feel some unease in talking about it in this somewhat public medium that is read by people with whom I normally maintain some sense of boundaries. Like my professors. Or my parents. Or Miko’s teachers. And on the other hand, writing this blog has been such a gift to me, for which I have been doubly reinforced. First, by the act of writing itself; sharing my personal process has been instrumental in moving me through it. Creating something, even if it’s just this electronic account of my feelings, during a time in which it is all too easy to only think about sickness and death, has fed me in a way I can’t quite describe. And second, by the…

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  1. Evocative photo – meaning you are still in the woods – for a while anyway (it will take as long as it takes to get out of these woods so no-one should call time on while you are in the woods – they don’t know you see! and you need all the support for the (indeterminate) time that you need in there – in other words you can’t be hurried better even though folk would start off on the (abominable) half-empty/half full glass kind of stuff!)). Always ever hugs as you deal with the aftermath.

    Can understand in the normal social intercourse a casual mention doesn’t even begin to give it justice – so much to say – it can’t be an aside – or won’t receive the kind of acknowledgement that is deserved here.  To take your time in coming to terms with this is no indulgence whatsoever!

    Caroline xx


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