Thrills and Spills

I don’t like the cancer cliches, but it is easy to see how they come about. The latest one to seem relevant is “roller-coaster”. Getting surgery over with was a bit of a relief after the tension and uncertainty of the long run-up. And the first few days afterwards were a time of recovery, when I could see and feel myself getting better. Not to mention the visits and well-wishers – sometimes there was almost a party atmosphere! But now my recovery seems to have reached a plateau. I am up and doing quite a lot, but still restricted and very bruised, and I’m getting bored with doing my physio exercises. Plus, the approach of the next clinic visit is becoming increasingly oppressive: I am once more obsessively trawling articles on the internet, this time attempting to estimate my chances of having cancer in the lymph nodes. The bleakest forecast is around 50:50, but I try to tell myself it probably isn’t as bad as that, as this statistic must include those poor sods whose tumours were grade 4 as well as those who had grade 1 lumps like me (but then again, the grading can change following the investigations they do after surgery). So I here I am counting days down again to an appointment I don’t really want to go to. Don’t think waiting for Christmas; think waiting for crucial exam results – only a bit worse.

I never was an adrenaline junkie. Can’t say I’m enjoying the ride much.

PS Just as I was about to post this, I was much cheered by a phone call from a friend who had bc five years ago. While I am absolutelynotnowaynever going to join any Cancer Club, her support is very, very welcome. She has just spent 20 days climbing in the Pyrenees.


One comment

  1. Yes, know this particular date is looming, and to be got through  – all a bit uncomfortable though so you are much thought of!! xx


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